When a feeling is so deep in you, everything time you try to write about it and what it means to you, you have this huge influx of ideas of what you want to write about that ultimately you end up writing nothing at all.

Ever since I started proper blogging ( that’s about a little more than year ago), I have sat down umpteen times to try and write what the Blues mean to me. And all those times I would think of a 100 different things to write about and get confused where to start and ultimately end up postponing it. But enough is enough. Today I am going to write. It may be disoriented and without structure but at least it will be from my heart. So here goes…..

Why Everton?

Hmm….I guess this would be the first question to answer. I mean even when I was in Southampton, everyone that I told I was an evertonian were pleasantly (not one drunk Guy though who abused me for having stolen James Beattie) surprised. I mean, how does an Indian living in India (note the difference), leave love, but even come to know about the media unfriendly Everton. Back in India where only 4-5 teams are there England, it only gets harder for people to understand. Maybe I could come up with a lot of false but heroic/sentimental answers to this but the truth, as often, is stranger and un-romantic that fiction. The reason why I noticed Everton was, today most Evertonian’s no 1 enemy: Rooney(From FM). But here I can safely say that he only ignited the spark, for the fire to sustain there were a lot of other things that “fit” in place. In simple words

Rooney got Everton into my mind, destiny got Everton into my heart.

During my, now, 5-6 year courtship with the blues, I have has a rollercoaster ride of emotions (that’s something the glory hunters can’t have eh? ;)) from the highs of finishing above the RedShite (For the Uninitiated RS=RedShite=LiverPool FC) and lows of 5-1 defeat by an obscure team from Romania. But personally the day that I will never forget ever in my life is the day I visited the cradle of MY dreams, Goodison Park, I think this is appropriately the first thing I should write about regarding my Love.

Anyway after selecting the match, the rest was to beg someone to get me the match tickets and bus tickets over the net since I didn’t have a UK credit card. Again fate showed her benevolent face by giving me a understanding and good friend as a roommate, Laura ,who helped me book both.

I was to catch a bus on the preceding Saturday from Southampton to London and then catch a bus from there to Liverpool. I took some tips off my friends from the Bluekipper forum and boarded the bus.

Anyway after my morning ablutions which did not include water touching too much of my body, I stated on the Quest to find the Promised Land, Well not before I lost a pound to get a Map Vending machine to give me a souvenir and pathfinder. In hindsight that was a good thing else this pilgrimage would not have been as complete as it is now. There were not much people on the road but I found a person who seemed a bit drunk, I asked him about Goodison Park. No Response. I asked him about the Toffees. No response. I asked “Everton?” He vaguely pointed his finger in a particular direction. With no other option, I put on my shoulder-bag and started walking.

Here I was, out in the cold, in a strange city in a strange land, without proper protection against the weather trying to reach a place, whose location I had no clue about. But there was a strange feeling inside me that was giving me a bit of hope and I started to move in the direction again. I soon reached a police station. I remember trying to memorize the name of the police station in case I got lost I think its St something. But as I started walking further, my first signs came. I saw a map sign with Everton written on it. I think it was referring to some other location, but it meant at least I was in the right direction and from a hope point of view it meant a lot at that time.So I continued walking. I walked for about 1 hour and finally found a person who gave me clear instructions.I followed them and reached Country Road(?).

St Mary’s being the only stadium I had seen before I have to be honest in saying that I was a disappointed that the stadium that I could call my own was crowded on all sides by houses. I guess that’s all the issue with redevelopment? I am not one to comment on that. But I would not mind a Shiny new stadium….as long as the History is not ripped apart from it.

I was lost in front of the statue of Dixie and standing there, I felt a 100 years of history ooze thru my body. It’s a feeling which I can only feel not write down (a reoccurring theme that day). The Mega-store had not opened and I was pretty much without any place to rest. So I went inside the Stanley Park Lake and killed some time enjoying the views of the Club and the lake.

Anyway, at the advice of one of the friendly attendants I stood near the place of entry of the players and was able to shake hands/ get autographs for a lot of players. The only players I did not get of were of Anichibe, who seemed to be busy with the phone and of James Vaughan who just ran in. One regret I have is of not being able to take a photo of me with one of the players, since I was alone and with a huge bag :P. and by the way AJ’s car is KOOOL

I struggled a lot in the loo with frozen fingers and the zip :). But some how it happened and I reached there before the match started. I had my first ever match day (I have the song on my mobile) Z-CARS and it made sense why the people on the BlueKipper forum (and most Evertonians are so passionate about it) I soon picked up on

It’s a grand old team to play for,
It’s a grand old team to support,
And if yer know your history,
It’s enough to make your heart go wooooooow

We don’t care what the red shite say,
what the fuck do we care?
Cos we only know that there’s gonna be a show,
And the Everton boys will be there…

 Talking about the match, I was too drunk with the sense of the occasion, to notice much regarding the match. But some things that were not missed were :-

AJ and Vaughen form a BUSY partnership. I mean I don’t think the arsenal defence got a moments rest. I hope they gell even better this season

• Vaughen’s pretty good in the AIR…something I didn’t know till then
• Howard seemed like a pillar
• Fernandes OOOOzzezz classs!

Ironically even though I remember everything else I remember very less about the things that happened in the actual match. Partly due to fact that I was still pinching myself to see it I am awake and part due to what a certain person did in the 91st Minute.

Up until then the words that were going thru my mind were of what my RS mate told me. “You will take all this trouble and reach there and your team will get battered by Arsenal and you will come off worse”. Even though I would have had no regrets about coming even if we lost, I badly wanted at least a draw……….

But when “it” happened in the 91st minute!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. The Atmosphere was tremendous. A goal like that against Arsenal at the 91st minute, The voices of nearly 40,000 fanatic fans willed with ecstasy singing for their one and only team! I could never have even dreamed of it. I shouted till I lost my voice. It was like god had chosen the theater and the actors to a script I myself would have loved to write.

If I was in a trance till them, then I reached a much higher state by that. After the match I just sat there savoring the moment. Everton may not have won any trophies since I have started supporting them (my heart tells me that will change pretty soon) , but even a CL (ok lets not go there but still ;)) could not have given me the joy that I got at my first (and possibly only match for a long while) match. It was particularly cold that day and there was hail/snow towards the end which I was seeing for the first time in my life (so many first that day). (Myself coming from the tropical place of Kerala/Bangalore). My ideas to enter a pub and try to meet up with some blues were seriously affected since I had to catch local bus reach the bus station soon.

Yes I had to spend more that my one month’s salary for the trip and Yes I spent around 4 hours in the snow (having never seen snow before) at a London Bus Stand waiting for Southampton bus, but for all the numbness I was feeling outside…a much warmer glow that gleams even today, one that will be there till my last breath, had been lighted and was keeping me warm

There are moments that you choose things by that gut feeling. And there are moments that you feel that the gut feeling was right. This day will forever me a day-long latter “moment” for me.

Everton Forever.